Pain of our time

People adopting children




Adoption is the priority form of arrangements for children living without their biological parents. According to the Family Code of the Russian Federation, adoption is permitted in case of infant children and only for their benefit. The ethnic origin, the membership of a particular religion and culture, the native language, the ability to ensure continuity in upbringing and education are taken into account in adoption. In Russia about 30,000 children are adopted every year. However, the number of Russian families who want to adopt an orphan from a children's home has decreased two times. At the same time adopting by foreigners has increased five times.


Extract from the interview with Valentina whose adopted son studies at our Centre of Education


Question: Was it difficult for you to take a decision about adopting a child?
Valentina: It wasn't rather easy to start doing it, to go to the Children's home and tell about it...But I had a desire to adopt a child, that's why I applied to Children's home.

Question: Were you choosing a child for a period of time?
Valentina: No, I wasn't. I think it's unpleasant and unacceptable when some people choose children as goods. I only went to the holidays twice and watched how children celebrated them.

Question: How did you meet with your son?
Valentina: There was a phone call from the Children's home and I was invited to meet with a boy. I came. There were a tutor, a psychologist and I. Some time later a little thin boy came to the room and sat at the table. The adults began to speak with the boy and asked him some questions. Then they asked him what he would do if he had a magic stick? He didn't answer, put his head on his arms and began to cry bitterly...Two days later I came to get to know him better...

Question: How old was he?
Valentina: He was nine.

Question: Did you have any difficulties when you started to live together?
Valentina: Yes, from time to time. When a child finds a new family he begins to study it. He tries to find out what his behavior should be like, but can't always do it properly... He is also afraid that he can be returned to the Children's home by this new family because he knows about it from his friends and he has seen it. He hardly trusts the adults... As for me, at first, I treated him cautiously and delicately trying to understand his character.

Question: How did you deal with these problems?
Valentina: I consulted with the psychologist of the Children's home and she advised me to treat him as my own son...Once suddenly I understood and felt that I was his real mother, he was really my own son and I had to raise and educate him...

Question: What was strange for you?
Valentina: Not strange. It was interesting to watch him during our first shopping. We were buying some food. He was really shocked. He saw many different products for the first time and thought he could take everything... When I bought him some clothes and, especially, new roller skates, he was so happy that couldn't fall asleep and believe that it was true. I remember when I said that I was going to peel potatoes he was very surprised to watch it...

Question: How old is your son now?
Valentina: He is fourteen.

Question: What could you advise people who think about adopting a child?
Valentina: I think if people think about it they are ready to do it. So don't put it off. There is a good Russian proverb "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today."

Question: Are you sorry about anything?
Valentina: Yes, I am. I am sorry that I haven't adopted two children.



Extract from the interview with Liudmila whose friend is an adopted girl


"I do know a woman who was adopted, raised and educated by her new parents. She is rather successful in her career and a very kind positive person. I don't know if she knows about her adoption. I have never asked and I will never ask her about it. But as for me, I think it doesn't matter. And now I understand that her adoption was a very good and happy chance in her life".


Extract from the interview with Natalya whose husband's brother raises an adopted son


"If we're speaking about adopted children, I can give you an example of my own family. My husband's brother and his wife have adopted a child from a family with social problems. I could say it was great happiness for the little boy whose parents didn't take care of him at all. At one moment, like in a fairy tale, he met a couple that desired to have a child. They loved their son as their own one. Sometimes it seems that the child looks like his foster-mother. He lives safely and happily. Of course, there are some problems with the kid's behaviour connected with the fact that the child spent about a year and a half in his biological family. But his new parents do their best to bring the son up as a socially adapted and happy person".